Dreams?

Hahas I still cannot believe I used up all my savings to buy Jerry's Stuff...How much time did I really used to save up all that, I have really forgotten, but I know that I have already restricted myself to buying more stuff, and I should really start to save money to get back the actual sum again...Without eating? Hahas maybe but its difficult to not eat during breaks...I started asking myself this question like some days ago" Do I have dreams?" but seriously, I think I don't have the rights to have dreams. Because so what I have more dreams than anyone, but unable to fulfill any of them? I have many dreams when I was young- I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to give my family a good life, but so what? I think I have been quite a quiet child these few months...because once I talk people will think that I am a difficult child...so the best way to get people to start liking me is to keep quiet myself...and...Just continue to keep quiet. So I shall keep my mouth out of the way, like what I have done last year, but that was just a mask...A mask that makes me beautiful...maybe? But I have grown so used to the mask that I can't seem to take it off, and I can feel the mask, the perfect but fake mask. I wanna be back to my ownself, but...the mask don't seem to budge no matter how much force I used. I want to be back the girl who was innocent and... Maybe truthful to herself, but the girl doesn't want to come back. She has been through too much, too much for her to bear, so now that the mask is a perfect face, the girl doesn't want to come back.A mask? I don' want to be a adult anymore, I want to go back to the girl that was truthful to herself...But... the truth is that she has started to stop chasing after her dreams. And the dream has also ran away, the dream doesn't want to go back to the girl too.


什么是梦想？我真的不知道因为我从很久以前就把梦想藏在心底，我也从来没有和任何人说过我的梦想，因为我不要人家认为我是个不知量力的小孩。。。